…beep…beep…beep…I can never tell if I have crossed over into the after-life until my conscience

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mind starts to hear the trace of the electrocardiograph machine and then I realize that I am still among the living lying here with tubes in every part of my body and I mean every orifice of my poor old body. “How are you feeling this morning?” The question of the day asked by the attending nurse on duty, “Will you turn on the television please?” I mumbled, still groggy from the previous night’s medication. “Here you go, the cable network news” the nurse quipped. We’ve been going through this routine for the past eight months while I’ve been waiting for a new heart from some unfortunate soul whose life has ended so that I may continue mine. I don’t know if it’s morbid or predatory or hopeful; but I watch the news for fatalities; accidental, homicidal, suicidal, whatever, hoping that someone’s tragedy will be my blessing. I’m not wishing for someone to die but I understand that it is part of living except if it’s preventable and in my case it is. I just need a healthy heart from a type “O” person to continue my journey here on earth.

“OH MY GOD!” The nurse shrieked as we both gazed at the image projected by the cathode-ray tube not believing what we were witnessing; a building was on fire, a very tall building was on fire, because it was in a collision, a collision with a large passenger jet-liner. Huh? I quickly glanced at the calendar on the wall to make a mental note of the day, Tuesday the 11^th.  As we both were glued to the TV a second plane hit another building identical to the first. Buy now the entire hospital seemed to be in one synchronous state of shock as if this were more than just two mere accidents caused by human error. As the saga unfolded it was evident that the U.S. was under attack with numerous casualties of war. I couldn’t help but think of my condition and the prospect of a type “O” organ donor with a healthy heart, a victim of this attack, collateral damage as defined by the administrators of warfare. 

(Three days later)…beep…beep…beep…”I’ve got good news for you!” My ears heard a shrill voice by the side of my bed as the thin framed doctor and the dutiful nurse slowly came into focus. “We have a heart for you!” she said with reserved enthusiasm. I’ve always dreamed of this day. I wanted more than anything to hear those words, the only thing I would not give was my first born even though he caused me so much pain at birth and in rearing; but because of his untimely death I had the will to live to see after his daughter my only grandchild and his brother my youngest son. I was determined not to leave before my time, even if just for the good of the kids. Alas God had answered my prayers His divine providence has shined on me once again despite the challenges of my own sins; but first I feel I must pray for the previous soul of my new heart.

“Oh lord I thank you for this opportunity at renewed life. I thank you for this gift that only you could see fit to provide. I pray that I continue to live a right life for you and the one who had this gift of life taken away. I pray that we can share in spirit your blessing”

“Ms. Wright…Ms. Wright…” as she broke me from my spiritual moment, “Ms. Wright I will need to have you sign these documents.” The doctor went on with her garish smile starting to wane. “You see there is a very special case with this particular heart.” But of course, I thought to myself. “This heart is from the recent accident on the 11^th" she continued, “Apparently another flight aimed at the White House was diverted and crashed into an open field in Stony Creek Township near Shanksville and a heart survived.” “Oh how terrible!” I remarked somewhat disingenuous.” I will honor the life of that person and would like if at all possible to send my condolences to their family.” I said with as much sincerity as I could muster. “Well, Ms. Wright none of the passengers survived with any usable organs or any of the flight crew or the pilots...” the doctor said with a strange tone. So my mind went racing, if all the passengers died with no usable organs and all the flight attendants and even the pilots too… who was left? Was this truly a miracle of biblical proportion? “Excuse me Ms. Wright…” as the doctor broke me from my dream state again, “I will need your signature here to accept the heart from the hijacker of United Airlines flight 93.”

Note from the Author: The title was inspired by one of my favorite authors Ernest Hemingway. The story was inspired by a report that Israel had been harvesting organs of captured dead Palestinians (without the families consent) for its own citizens. The report raises so many questions, not just ethical questions but also motive and legal queries too. Is Israel’s choice to remove organs and then send the deficient bodies back to Palestine the ultimate shame of war or is the “ultimate shame” to allow preventable deaths of a nation’s citizenry to take place?

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Hi, my name is Tiger Woods and I am powerless over pretty white women and my life has become unmanageable. I have learned that I do not have the power and the control I once thought I had. I have learned that each one of these women wants something and most often it’s my money.

I've been brought to my knees

But I have also learned I am not powerless over my attitude. I am not powerless over assuming responsibility for my own actions and reactions. I know that I am not alone; I’ll always have my caddy to carry my heavy load. I look to those who have been on this path before me (Kobe, Jordan, Clinton and Letterman) and carefully watch the steps they have taken and lawyers they have retained (Johnny Cochran where are you now!) I have destroyed the trust within my marriage and I fear my wife’s vengeance when she reaches for my 9 Iron.  I have come to believe in a power greater than myself…the tabloid media and they have contributed to my insanity. I am on the cover of every gossip magazine on earth and have even made it to this obscure blog post. All in all I had a lot of fun ruining my image and my marriage; the suites were plush, the wine was fine and the sex was expensive.  My kids will know that “papa was a rolling stone” and my friends will know that my wife got the Escalade, my Masters coat and a vacation home. I’ve heard some of my African-American friends say “pimpin’ aint easy…” and my Caucasian friends would always reply “…but trickin’ is twice as hard!”  I didn’t really understand all that slick talk then but hind sight is 20/20, I was just looking for a good time. Maybe I should have hired an exclusive call girl service like Governor Spitzer… it would have been cheaper. By the way did I mention my name is Tiger Woods and I am powerless over pretty white women and that is my greatest fault?

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The victor is contained within the essay’s title but the fight is for the conscience souls of the world. The author suggests that the Creator has ultimate authority over His minion and He does, that is what the world needs to be reminded of. The only power that is greater than them is the power to choose. It is a fight between good and evil; God and devil for the power of your choice, which will ultimately lead to who will reclaim or claim your soul. You see, you were redeemed by the “lamb of God” but to lay person, what does that mean? Well, there was a time when sacrifices were the way to show reverence, obedience and worship to God. There is a humbleness in giving something in your possession away. But as the world grew and prospered there became an abundance of things; animals, harvests and material goods. God needed more of you not what you possessed; and so did the devil.

So God provided one last and final sacrifice. And the blood of that sacrifice was to wash away ALL sins, for ALL people, for ALL times but His requirement for this gift would cost you a fee that would render your soul; your life; your love and obedience to Him. The devil wants to take your will to do this from you. He wants you to choose what feels good to you or better put, what “tickles the flesh” because the body and the soul are fighting too. So you may ask did God create the devil?

 

 

Ezekiel 28:12-18

Satan thrown to the Earth

Just like you, God also gave Cherubs the power of choice and His most beautiful Angel became too prideful, corrupt with wisdom, lawless and violent. So God kicked Satan out of heaven. The cunning, clever, strong and beautiful Satan is still powerless over your will, your ability to choose between good and evil; your choice to accept God’s gift. He will never defeat God but he can defeat you by tempting you with the desires of your flesh. You don’t have to face him alone, God has provided you with an army and a battle plan; but He cannot make you choose. This is an epic conflict with everyone being accounted for, everyone will be tempted, no one will be spared; no one can abandon the power of choice, no one can resist the power of good and evil, no one escapes the field of combat. Your body will become a casualty of this spiritual warfare; but your soul will rise or descend with your choice between God and Satan.

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I ran across (no pun intended) this sonnet published in 1630 by Jacobus Revius a Protestant poet and preacher who through a self-accusatory technique which many 17th century artists of the Calvinistic reformist movement employed to examine their relationship to Christ and profess their guilt for his continued suffering. It is in my opinion a reflective and self-depricating view of sin and Jesus' sacrifice. It means nothing if you don't believe. It, the paintings and poems are just that; words on paper, colors on canvas. But for those who do believe it has a chilling affect.

In Rembrandt van Rijns' (1606-69) historic painting "the raising of the cross" c.1633 he has painted himself in the scene as Christ's executioner with his trademark artist beret. Not as a solider following orders from his commanding officer or as a lowly roman subject of Prefect Pontius Pilate assisting in the slow and painful execution called a crucifixion; but as someone in command of his own role literally at the "center" of this epic depiction. 

It is a quiet piece that is voluminous. It tugs at the core of the Christian message. It is a role that one does not view him or herself in. It is for introspective thought, contemplation, reflection and even just mere appreciation of words, color and form...beautiful art...beautiful poetry.





'Tis not the Jews who crucified,

Nor who betrayed you in the judgment place,

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Daddy's little girl

"Daddy I don't like to dream anymore..." (My 6yr old daughter's response to my question at bed time)

What a scary thought if she only knew what that meant literally.

'Activists say North Korean woman publicly executed for distributing Bible'

Headlines in the Morning Report July 25, 2009 just above the headline 'Evangelist convicted of sex with girls.'

"If you're going to support it, you should understand it enough to debate for it. It just promotes common sense and competency in the legislature." -Jerrol LeBaron

LeBaron is promoting the "Honor in Office Act" a ballot initiative that requires lawmakers to actually read the laws that they vote for. (They don't read the Laws they pass???)

FREE Gram for 1st Time patients - Wide Selection - High Quality - Discreet Location - Knowledgeable Staff

Advertisement for Marijuana at the Florin Wellness Center.

Happy Problem!!!

"Bay Area Transit riders have been holding their breath for fear of a strike that would cripple the backbone of the area's public transportation system." - Oakland Tribune

As California unemployment rate hits 11.6% with a $26 billion ($26,000,000,000.00) dollar budget deficit and is paying its' workers with State issued IOU's.

"Tell me three things about your significant other two that are true and one that's a lie" - Dr. Ronn Elmore (Psychiatrist, Life Coach, Marriage Therapist)

The first exercise at the "Marriage University" (At a 7- Week Christian Based pre-marital course.)

'Both houses of Congress have now approved a resolution Wednesday urging a presidential pardon for former heavyweight champion boxer Jack Johnson'  -NBC NEWS (100 years later)

Jack Johnson, publicly defiant of the Jim Crow-era laws that ruled the day (1908), was the first person prosecuted under the Mann Act, which banned the transportation of females across state lines "for immoral purposes."  The official offense cited was for consorting and traveling with a white prostitute whom he later married.
 

Some see what they want to see...

The Youtube video the circulated over the internet like a firestorm purporting that Russian officials refused to shake the Black American President's hand (he was actually introducing the Russian President to other diplomats)

My thoughts...

I see this place (our social world) we call strange, home, heaven and hell all in the same breath. We are just keepers of what we have been entrusted with (this green earth) we govern ourselves with a complex set of laws, rules, beliefs and lies all in the pursuit of happiness, health, wealth, equality or the promise of everlasting life with the creator. When I hold up the mirror of reality this is the reflection I see however skewed, biased, negative or positive; but most importantly I wonder about the world (society) we will leave for our children.

Bycha Buxton

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I look at the writing and I see "aciremA", but after looking in the rear view mirror I recognize it's "America" a reflection  an image of what we've become. Recently I was having a discussion with an esteemed friend who is a Doctor of Psychology at a California state prison she made mention of the transvestite population at this all male prison and the fact that they could not be housed at a female prison (What???) until they've had they're "final operation". However until then the state is obliged to provide them with hormone (estrogen) shots because the "process" (of gender alteration) had already begun before they were incarcerated and due to Federal Law they were required to be cared for. If the said inmate is not administered his gender changing shot the inmate can file a lawsuit and be entitled to compensation. Yes all people should be entitled to basic care and have their civil liberties an inalienable rights respected. My daughter has to bring her own school supplies to kindergarten and my son buys his book for college, they too want to change their station in life. Should not their needs be accommodated their "process" (of education) has already begun too.

MASS MEDIA GONE TO THE DOGS

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Our obsession with "shock-value" news, beautiful villains, charismatic con artist's and adorable victims consume our "reality news" shows. We watch as the media acts as judge, jury and executioner for countless subjects be it Richard Jewell (the falsely accused Olympic bomber) who was slandered by the media for a crime he did not commit; the Duke rape scandal when Crystal Gail Mangum falsely accused three white members of the Duke lacrosse team of sexual assault or now the "high tech" lynching, jailing and bankrupting of former football star Michael Vick for abuse against animals. This is America's mass media mess the "Never Ending Worthless Stories" (N.E.W.S.). Even I contribute to the news in my own narcissistic way. Like a pack of stubby legged datsun dachshunds amusing a 300lb gorilla, a giant in the jungle is now just a mere circus animal. It's mind being occupied by the dogs, it's appetite for life satisfied with bananas. America's nightmares, passions and dreams made for your viewing pleasure between the hours 12:00am to 11:59pm in HDTV.

FAME AND FORTUNE BOTH IN 15 MINUTES FOR 15 MINUTES

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My yearly rant,

Bycha Buxton

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I have always thought that there were two times in a woman's life that natural beauty radiated from her. An aura, a divine beauty that transcends mere physical attributes like smoothly hued skin, high cheek bones, big beautiful eyes, full lips or a statuesque gait. Those times of divine beauty are (one) on her wedding day, I have never seen a woman glow like on that magical day when she stands before the altar with friends and family in the pews wishing her glad tidings and she gazes into the moment and for a flicker of time, you see the natural beauty that God has so designed and called woman. The second such time in life is that of the rounded belly of a woman with child, so perfect and shaped just for the coming of the greatest gift to preserve mankind, the glow she carries with her, for only she can understand the majesty and humility that comes with the bearing of a new life to this great spinning globe. The natural beauty of a woman as I see it...until there was the First "Black" Lady of the United States.

Michelle-Obama-Official-Portrait

It's not so much about who; but like the the Office of the Presidency, it is the occupation, the representation, giving a nation something to look up to, an aspiring goal for our young girls. So I must say that not only did the nation get it right with the newly elected President it was a two-for-one deal we (America) got a great representative for the First Lady of the United States, Michelle Obama. It is so refreshing to see a positive image that is not exploitative of a Black Woman in America. It's not the sista' on the reality show acting like we know they can. Nor is it the sista' shown in the tabloids battered and bruised by her man, neither that sista' who feels she has to be a courtesan or sell her self-worth for a ticket to fame and fortune. No, it is a dawning of what the new "Black Woman" will become. What (Black) women can aspire too. Not just First Lady; but the defining of a new generation of role models.

Congratulations Women of America ,

Bycha Buxton

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A Brief History...

I still have my residence in the Golden State (I will never leave for good) but it is not socially the place that I have grown to be most comfortable in. It is "the wild wild west", free and progressive in many ways and on many issues. But my love of that state, especially the Bay Area has definitely shaped who I am. A tolerant conservative, a moderate, now I do fault in some ways the pitifully waged war on drugs started by the former "B" movie actor, Governor of California and 40th President (God rest his soul) Ronald Regan (the Gipper). With his wife Nancy's (Regan) "Just Say No" campaign and Howard Jarvis author of Prop. 13 in 1978 ( "People's Initiative to Limit Property Taxation"),which had a disproportionate affect on the Bay Area and Los Angeles it opened the border to Mexico for cheap labor and cheaper drugs.

"STOP THE MADNESS" (1985, 1986) anti-drug music video

Present Day...

The great state, the "Golden State" now leads the nation in unemployment(updated 2/27/09 10.1%), the public schools now rank 48th out of 50 states and they have recently had a $42 billion budget deficit. A bill from Assemblyman Tom Ammiano (D-San Francisco -- where else?) would tax marijuana sales. It would, first, decriminalize the possession and sale of marijuana under state law, and, second, set up a system for regulating and taxing it. The sales and taxation part only happens, though, if the federal government decriminalizes marijuana too, or at least allows states to make their own decisions about the drug. It puts the "legalization of drugs" on the table in possibly the most liberal government that has occupied Washington D.C. since JFK and LBJ. So we have come full circle back to the 30% tax reduction that was Prop. 13 to be replaced with another tax increase. Better off the backs of California homeowners and on the butts of the blunts and the bowl of the bongs. Ammiano and his supporters argue that the state is losing out on more than $1 billion a year in tax revenues because its biggest cash crop, marijuana, is illegal and therefore not taxable.

The Future...

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A myriad of health related issues will consume the California heath system related to the increase in smoking. Bronchitis, asthma, lung cancer; a number of studies have shown an association between chronic marijuana use and increased rates of anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, and schizophrenia (sounds like growing up in the 'hood). In one study, heavy marijuana abusers reported that the drug impaired several important measures of life achievement including physical and mental health, cognitive abilities, social life, and career status. Several studies associate workers’ marijuana smoking with increased absences, tardiness, accidents, workers’ compensation claims, and job turnover. So the future of California's marijuana policy will have little change on the current state of affairs (sad but true) it (pot smoking) will not stop.

The Remedy...

It is time to surrender and be prudent about the lost revenue (I am a fiscal conservative). Maybe the coalition against Prop. 8 will be too "high" to mount an effective campaign (a much more important social issue) because the war on marijuana is moot. It (legalization) has the possibility of creating thousands of jobs related to the cultivation, processing, sale and monitoring of the product. Also one of the most prized jobs of all "quality control"second only to that of "profiteer". It could reinvigorate the once and much ballyhooed agricultural industry of California that has given way to dot com start-ups and bio-tech innovation of the nineties.

Yours truly, but I never inhaled ;-)

Bycha Buxton

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He is our President. It says volumes how far this country has come. I am a proud black man; but "cash rules everything around...dolla' bill ya'll ....dolla', dolla', dolla', dolla' bill ya'll" Since the close of the DJIA (Dow Jones Industrial Average a collection of 30 of the largest and most widely held public companies in the United States.) on January 16, 2009 at 8281.22 opening again on the most historic day in US modern history 2/20/2009, until today February 23, 2009 a mere 35 days into his Presidency the "market" (DJIA) has had a precipitous drop of 1166.44 pts. to 7114.78 these are 1997 levels. Now I do have to fault my former party leader G.W. Bush for the current fiscal status but this is ridiculous for it (the markets) to continue in a free fall. Many fault the appointment of Timothy Geithner (Treasury Secretary) and his lack of a detailed plan, general aloofness and inability to convey confidence.

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President Obama's economic plan though a milestone in effectiveness in getting a major piece of legislation passed so quickly has not been able to inspire the "markets". When the markets are in a "bull run" money flows it does have a trickle down effect. A rising tide lifts all boats. But now we (America) wait for the big ship (the Titanic) to give us a lift out of these deep recession waters. Who will talk the helm of the Titanic? Even though the historic ship sank their were survivors, such as the case with this economic downturn. We will go down, some institutions will find themselves at the bottom of the abyss never to see the sun shine on their dariaires again; but that is the nature of the beast called the capitalist market. The health of the Dow Jones is directly connected to most 401K retirement accounts, pension funds and dictates the mood of business worldwide. Not that policy should dictate or be dictated by the whims of wall street; but as the nations Chief Executive Officer he (President Obama) has to be aware of his adverse affect on the financial markets and its effect on the very poor and disaffected citizens he is trying to help.

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